How to self criticise the right way.

Self Criticism is a trait we all tend to have in ourselves. We are often the hardest critics of our own lives. So, how do we use it to push ourselves more without being harsh on ourselves to a point where we give up and just let ourselves fail because it was never enough.

The first part involves starting to love yourself and being in sync with what you are and where you want to be. Throw the rest off your system, it’s better said than done, but do it. The moment you love what you are, the sync is on and you will always be one step ahead. Go ahead, take a pen and write it all out. Describe what you are, define the true self, build your wildest dreams, just remember it’s for your use. Keep it away for a day and read it the next day, with a really positive attitude, find the best in you from that description. Voil√†, you have your reasons to not beat yourself up.

Next up is setting yourself away from the blame game. This is a thing I always find myself doing and more often ended up getting me to leave my improvement goals half way through before i started up with the whole self analysis exercise in the end of the day which helped me tremendously push across these tiny barriers that needed to be jumped over and these barriers often sounded like, if only I had this and I would be able to get it done or why is it so unfair or why is just me, all these things just dragged me to give up, so next time you hear yourself say something similar kick yourself up and get going because there is nothing you can’t accomplish with the right mindset and a teeny weeny bit of hard work.

Now, you are ready with the cushions propped up for that self critic role to push you harder. Use it to analyse your activity and find where you need to improve and change. Discover and define what is it that you need to accomplish today. This form of self analysis which is a strong tool that helps make the changes you need for the better you. What you need to always understand is to remember to keep counts of your achievements and successful completions so as to never fall for guilt and worse, be afraid if you can because you will never know if you never try. Another exercise I find myself doing often is, breaking down my main goal into mini sized missions that needs to done in a set smaller frame. This helps me boost my confidence to do something in a much better mood than dragging myself to the deadline. Once you try and analyse, that is when you learn from your mistakes and push on to be a better you.

Remember: There is never anything more you need than what’s inside.

Is success just hard work ?

Success in its own terms is a totally contextual idea. Considering you have a clear goal to success, is hard work just the thing that’s going to get you to that goal like so many people tell us ?

Let’s analyse. There are hundreds of people who made to the prime of their life in different contexts of success, only to find themselves just plumage down. Having given it a thought, I think just hard work ain’t the answer. So what is ?

The right attitude is the most important trait you can have, let’s face it, having the right reasons to go get your goal gives you an extra boost and a level of satisfaction at every curve of that journey. The next trait would be creativity, the idea of new solutions to new problems can help you shoot right in, not only does that help you reach the top but also help stay at the top. Another facet in the process and I must say a really important one is proper self analysis with proper planning. Self analysis includes identified weakness and strengths in your personal and professional lives, proper observation and a heck load of awareness is going to get you learn the tricks and trades. To do that planning ahead, visualise the next blocks and power ups along the way. I have to add, this planning needs constant upgrades and analysis to stay on.

These factors along with loads of hardwork, yes you need hard work, is going to get you on track to that journey to your success.

The paradox of success

What is your idea of success ? Is it really rich ‘buy it all’ image? or the huge tycoon who does nothing but go around while minting money ? Maybe its that job that pays you a huge paycheck. The idea of success is so blurred we are tuned to see an image that is never practical and more over so limited. We fail to see our small successes and fail to acknowledge all those achievements. So what is success??

Firstly, The idea of success is totally contextual. While a chef’s idea of success is beautiful dishes that people come back for, a teacher’s idea of success is students who understand the lessons and learn. So, understand that success is not just in one perception, its your perception and attitude that creates your idea of success, and its not often just one big picture.
The next factor that you need to understand is success never ends at a point where you can just stop working and you are just there at the top. The moment you stop planning and working its gone and you plummet all the way down. So no, that image of working from your swimming pool and closing your deals ain’t happening.
You are probably going ,’ok, I need to keep working and get a proper success goal and just keep doing what everybody does’. Sorry again, doing what everybody else does just gets you to where everybody is at. Success is taking that new solution in the back of head and doing it. Creating and importantly failing is a must with success stories. So don’t be afraid of new things, change and failing. So putting your specific context, and then letting your head and mind work together should get you to that place you wanted to be at. Remember, there is no ore with jus gold, success too is a lot of junk with precious metals.

What the heck is spirituality?

The idea of spirituality is highly rated with the concept of a religion, which is not the case. The idea of spirituality is when one considers the possibility of a path based on a set of core principles and believes in the spirit of humanity. Hence, it is highly individualist and helps create ones own spirituality, and it’s paths are defined by the paths you take.
The basic idea should be your spirituality has nothing to do with that prayer for your house or that promotion you needed. Neither is it a platform for blame and fears. I believe spirituality can be a platform for ones own self analysis through any form or method. It should act to connect within, helping you rebalance your core principles to suit you better.
If, the idea of a religious sanctuary appeals for ones reconnection, it will act as an excellent aid to rebalance. Spirituality can be well connected to religion when the practices help connect to one’s inner self or keep the idea of a core principles through an idealogy. Not only does it have no consequence but it is an excellent source of spirituality. What should be the point where your caution must work? It should be the point of looking up into clouds instead of within yourself. It should not be looking around for commonality and connecting with everything in an idealogy but oneself, then and only then has it defeated the idea of both spirituality and religion. Hence, the path to spirituality must always involve ones inner reconnection. It must never be a platform to getting things done but just an incentive to getting things done both in your spiritual and life’s journey alike.

Why life’s philosophies aren’t simple

The concept of a core set of principles and values that emphasize the existence of an indivigual is called life philosophy. The idea of elevator pitching ones life philosophy can be a daunting task and today we try to see why.

The idea of a life philosophy itself resonate across different levels of contemplation in a spiritual, mental or physical planes of a mindset. Every individual elects his core system based on several factors of culture, time period and even social etiquettes. This inbuilt system of checks and balances based on a context complicates the concept further.
Further more, the communication of the concept is another hurdle since a simple task such as waking up at a particular time everyday might seem like a simple task, while it can also be elevated to a priciple idea of discipline, which further can be elevated to an act of taking leadership through consistent discipline. While the concept of life’s philosophy is a basic thought process in many indiviguals, its complexity is just undermined just as the concept of common sense. 

How to discover your passion ?

Last day, I walked into a restaurant with a friend, I wasn’t hungry but decided to go in with him. My thought process revolved around “do i need to eat ?”, “there is probably nothing good to order in this place”, and sorts which in turn made the menu unappealing and ended up order just a juice. Why am i telling you this in this post ?
Passion is like ordering from a menu in a restaurant. Everything looks so appealing, you want to try them all, so let’s try cutting down to how much you can handle and maintain. Most importantly, never take up a hobby or activity because it will make you look a part. Look back, analyse your most memorable and most happy moments and I can tell you there will be a common factor in them. Maybe its that thrive to take those amazing pictures of people in every party, maybe its writing your heart out or it can even be fixing things up. Nothing is ever weird when you learn to love it
Once you find that little thing that flows from your heart, pulls your body to it and lets your mind relax, the most important thing is never ever stop trying at it. The moment you let that self critic or that one guy who tells you “nah, this ain’t cool” take over your passion, its done. Always use criticism in its most positive side to improve and that is if its worth doing that. Like all skills, nobody is born with a perfect passion. it is devolped as any other skill, so do it like the animal you are, whenever, wherever its possible.
The final step would be to bring that final interest under one roof, into one big solution to somebody’s needs and problems. Nothing is devolped for nobody. I can guarantee that someone somewhere is always looking for a person like you, so get out and be there for them. Say “yes! I love doing what I do” and you live happily ever after.

Guilt is not a motivation tactic

What drives you to do your tasks? What pushes you when you do that really important project at work or school? Is it a need to bring change in your field? Is it that curious quest for understanding it? Do you keep your deadlines because you love to? So many people I know are run on guilt. Are you somebody who do your projects because your boss is behind you? Do you have that thought “what will people think?”¬† before you do that big project you wanted to?

Everything you do is just because somebody or something is pushing you to. While guilt gets things done, it gives no joy neither satisfaction. Instead I want you to try pushing yourself cause you want that extra client or that extra credit point, best of all you do it cause you want to or love to. This is deliberate excercise of pushing yourself with small positive boosters to push you. I can guarantee you, there will be more joy in your heart, more smiles in your face and you do things because it makes more sense than how you will look. Increased productivity is another aspect of using positive fuels in your life, How so ? You don’t have to spend time boiling your guilt to get things done.


Taking criticism and praising the same.

Man being a social being is naturally inclined to enjoy praises and equally dislike criticism. The natural tendency for one is to go defensive and react to a criticism with emotion. 
Learning to deconstruct and sieve in relevant information helps to build criticism into constructive criticism. This skill helps find valid points we need to build as to better ourselves. Most often these positive criticisms help us achieve better than praises.
While criticism is taken with defence, an even worse form lies within oneself. Self criticism is a dangerous tool when used rightly provides amazing results, when wrongly used they crush self esteem to the grounds. 
Delibrate efforts to employ constructive criticism from self and others build a more effective and efficient indivigual, while keeping in mind one must ask the right questions and take into consideration if the same is worth considering.